I assumed Corey was gone for good after I had been ghosted for several weeks. I stuck with my usual, don’t chase guys, and I wasn’t all that interested in him anyway, so I was fine with this turn of events. Then he suddenly turned up again. He texted me out of the blue and said he was interested in me, but wasn’t sure if I was into him, so he was waiting to hear from me. I told him my theory about not chasing guys, which he insisted was wrong and made him believe I wasn’t interested. To be fair, he wasn’t completely wrong, but whatever. Anyway, he suggested meeting up again, and I didn’t have anything better going on, so I agreed.

We made plans to meet the next Saturday. We texted back and forth during the week until Thursday, when he said he suddenly remembered making plans to go down the shore for the weekend with a guy friend from his gym. While part of me was relieved by this as I wasn’t really sold on dating this guy, part of me felt like the story was total bs. I more or less said, OK, no big deal. He asked if I was mad at him, and I assured him, no, I wouldn’t be losing any sleep over it. He then asked if I wanted to meet up the next weekend. Seeing as I am fluent in sarcasm and wasn’t really buying this story, I told him sure, assuming the dog didn’t eat his homework between now and then. He kept saying it wasn’t a made up story, blah, blah. blah. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. I showed the conversation to a guy friend whose comment on it was, you’re an ass. I asked, do you buy the story? He said no, he agreed the story was crap, but said I didn’t have to be bitchy about it. I asked was my reply funny, and he said, definitely, and I felt OK about the whole thing. As I said, I wasn’t really into the guy (although I felt like I should have gotten more out of him since he basically led to the demise of 007 – who I fully agree has some kind of stalker thing going on and most likely never would have gotten his shit together, but still, I was sad about it), and I didn’t buy his story. I am generally not one to let bullshit slide, so I felt like it was my thing to call him on it. I don’t regret it at all. Besides, dude won’t eat cheese. I love cheese. No more cheese haters for me. That has to be a sign of some sort. I’m paying attention to signs now.

#129 Sam – Fireman

With Corey out of the picture, I started talking to number 129, Sam. Sam was a fireman and seemed like a decent guy. He was a couple years younger than me, but looked maybe 5 years older than me. One of those prematurely grey guys, but guys get to pull that look off where women can’t. He wasn’t bad looking, was liberal in terms of politics (I had decided to add that filter to my dating account as I have issues dating republicans), and even had a college degree in Chemistry from the same university as me. We talked on the phone a few times and then agreed to meet.

I warned Sam upfront that I had bronchitis. It had been a month and I was on antibiotics, but it wasn’t getting much better. He heard me coughing on the phone and said he was OK with it and still wanted to meet. So needless to say, I coughed through our date. We got along OK, I thought, although he looked older than his pics. Not like 10 years older, but I would say he looked like he was in his late 40s, probably mostly because his hair was much more grey than it had been in his pics. We went our separate ways after drinks and he said he wanted to see me again. I had some reservations, as he hadn’t seemed overly interested, but didn’t seem standoffish either.

We texted here and there for a few days, but nothing about getting together again and I realized he was curving. He wasn’t initiating the texts, and his replies were brief and just kind of blah. I don’t chase guys, I wasn’t super into him, so I figured it was time to let it go. I hadn’t felt like anything was particularly bad though about the date, so I sent him a quick email to follow up. Something along the lines of hey, I get you’re not into me and I am totally fine with that, just wondering if it is a looks thing, personality thing or both? I said any feedback would be appreciated. I am all for any kind of improvements I can make to get myself out of the eternal dating circle of hell in which I seem to reside. No response from Sam though. So much for him being a decent guy.

My favorite part of dating Sam was the night I was meeting him my dad had suggested I do something in my house, a repair or something. I said I couldn’t as I had a date. He asked with whom, and I said a fireman. My dad said, don’t ask to see his hose. This is why I am the way I am, a hopeless smartass who can’t ever turn it off. It’s genetic, totally not my fault. Anyway, on to the next guy…

 

Number 130 – Don – Local guy

I had been talking to another guy who was actually in my neighborhood. He was funny, had a good job, we had some really good conversations over email and then text. I had some reservations about him as he had two kids, about 9 and 11, and seemed to be constantly busy with them. I get the kid thing, but I am over that, so it was kind of like going back in time to dealing with that all over again, and I wasn’t sure I was really up for it. It took him almost 2 months to find a day he was actually free to meet. I agreed and we met at a local restaurant for dinner.

We got along well at dinner. I felt like we had a similar sense of humor which was nice. I feel like that is one of my main issues with guys, they just don’t get my humor. I would say that was 007’s biggest appeal, he got me. But while I had an easy time talking to Don, I realized I wasn’t really attracted to him. I told myself that might come later and agreed to hang out with him for drinks after dinner at a bar up the street.

Drinks went OK again, no problems with the conversation, but I still wasn’t really feeling a connection. I could hear my friends in my head saying, give him a chance, maybe he will grow on you. So I said I would hang out again at the end of the night.

We went back to texting back and forth for weeks, dragging into months. Again, he was always busy with his kids, or whatever, and never was around to meet up. Yet at the same time, he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else because he felt like he had a connection with me and wanted to keep seeing me. I went along with the texting, figuring if nothing else, maybe I could make a new friend.

Then he texted me one day saying his son, who was the older kid, was being committed to an in patient mental hospital for the second time because he had hit his mom. This scared me and made me really question whether it was a situation I wanted to be in, and quite frankly, I realized it wasn’t. A guy with kids is one thing, a guy with a violent kid is quite another thing. I let it peter out as he never made definitive plans to see me again, and I think eventually got the message I wasn’t really into him.

 

Number 131 – Jack – Dog guy

Jack was another guy who was fairly local, so seemed like it was worth a shot to meet up. We talked on email and text and seemed to get along pretty well, and he said he really liked dogs. I know they say the way to a guy is through his stomach, and I think I have gotten close to a few with my baking, so I buy that theory. The way to me though, is through my dogs. Anyone who is good to my dogs is good in my book.

We met for dinner and it went OK. He was 5 years older than me, but looked pretty good for his age. He had 2 adult daughters who were living on their own, so that worked out well for me. I wouldn’t say I fell head over heels, but there wasn’t anything super objectionable about the guy, so I agreed to meet again.

We agreed to meet a second time, but he works nights and I work days, so weekends were our only option. He wanted to meet the next weekend, but my sister was coming to visit so I said the only way to see me would be to have dinner with my sister and me. He said sure, and I figured it was his funeral.

Dinner with my sister went pretty well. I was realizing he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was very nice. He didn’t drink at all, which was a nice change after dating two guys who drank like fish. Of course, he didn’t drink at all because he used to have a drinking problem, and said he drank a fifth of whiskey on his way to the bus stop all through high school. So, he clearly had previous issues with alcohol.

After dinner (we met a restaurant in the mall), my sister wanted to stop at a store in the mall where clothes were super cheap to pick up some bras for her friend. I asked if Jack wanted to come with us, and he said sure. I couldn’t decide if that was weird or nice that he wanted to tag along, so we all went bra shopping for my sister’s friend. Of course, my sister and I were picking out the comfortable sensible bras, and Jack was selecting bras that looked like bondage items. I don’t think we bought any he selected. Oddly enough, my sister, who hates almost every guy I date, said she thought Jack was nice and I should keep him around. This shocked me into agreeing to see him again.

Date #3 was a play in which my neighbor’s kid was playing one of the lead roles. I told Jack I had agreed to go and he said he would like to go with me. I thought that was nice, or delusional, but tried to lean more toward nice. We went, the play wasn’t awful for a kids play. I ended up bumping into an old friend I hadn’t seen for years whose son was also in the play and talked to her for quite a while. I felt a little guilty that Jack was kind of standing around waiting, but I apologized and he said he was OK. He suggested meeting for dinner in a few hours and I agreed. Then he texted me like an hour later, saying he had money problems and really couldn’t afford to go out for dinner. I said we could just hang out at my house (he lived with a roommate, a female friend from high school). He came over and made dinner and played with my dogs.

We went out again, to a concert to which I had gotten tickets months before. He yelled at me for giving money to a homeless guy outside the venue, said the guy probably wasn’t homeless and might make as much as me with his panhandling. For some reason, the guy reminded me of my kid. It was a cold night and all I could think was I hope someone would help my kid out if he needed it. It bothered me that he was giving me shit for giving away my money. It wasn’t his, who was he to tell me what to do with my money? I let it go and we went back to my house, where we hung out and he played with my dogs again. My dogs loved Jack.

He took a half day at work one night and came over to hang out. That mostly involved him playing with my dogs while I cleaned, and then watching tv for a couple hours. He suggested dinner that weekend and I said OK. Saturday came around and he texted me at 4 asking if I was ready for dinner. I said I had just had lunch not long before and wasn’t really hungry yet, that I had assumed we would be having dinner later. He said he was starving and suggested he come over with a stromboli. I told him again that I wasn’t hungry, but suggested he should go eat if he was, and we would get together later. Then I didn’t hear from him again that night. He said the next day that he went to eat, went to the gym, went home and passed out. I felt this was flaky, but still agreed to see him again. He offered to take me to get a Christmas tree the next weekend.

I knew he had a family Christmas party on Saturday so we would be going on Sunday. I texted him twice Sunday morning and he didn’t reply. At 1 I decided to go out and run some errands, including getting my glasses fixed and do some Christmas shopping. He finally texted me at 130 and said he had just gotten up, lol. I wasn’t loling. I didn’t hear anything else from him until 230, when he said he was ready and was heading over to my house. I told him I wasn’t there, and wasn’t planning to be anytime soon. I wasn’t sure what his plan had been for getting a tree, but finding one in the dark on a Sunday night when everything closes early certainly wasn’t my plan.

That was basically the last I heard from him. He texted a couple times, but I felt like I was supposed to live on his schedule, which just didn’t work for me. I had also been the one to finance all the dates since dinner with my sister, so I was feeling like I would be the one to finance the entire relationship, since he said he had money issues. On top of that, we really didn’t have much in common, and he just wasn’t all that interesting to me. I also discovered somewhere in there that he had bad teeth, and he had all of his removed. He had a set of top dentures, but didn’t have bottom ones yet. Maybe I am shallow, but I feel like I at least deserve a guy with teeth. Is that really asking so much? I can’t say I miss Jack, but I am pretty sure my dogs do.. Sorry, doggies, I can’t date a guy just to make you happy…

So, I am still single. Haven’t dated anyone in almost a month and can’t say I have any good prospects on the horizon. It’s looking like I will be single for a while yet, and I think I am OK with that for now. I have been feeling kinda down with the holidays and some issues at work, as well as dealing with health issues with my dogs. I feel like that’s enough to keep me busy right now. It is a new year after all, so I want to spend some time getting myself together before I inflict my issues on someone else. And, I know it’s been 5 months since I told 007 to fuck off, but I still miss him. Clearly that’s my issue, and something I need to get out my system once and for all. I realize that every guy I date gets held up to him in terms of how he got me when the others just don’t, but he also treats me like shit and makes me feel like I am absolutely worthless. None of that is good, nor is his stalking/hacking/whatever it is he does to keep tabs on me. My sister gave me an amazon show for Christmas and my first thought was, can 007 hack this and spy on me? I’ve gotten paranoid and sound like one of those crazies with the tin foil hats. (It’s in my kitchen as my sister thought I would use it for recipes and I figure he can’t see much there, but then I start thinking about the pet cam in my living room… maybe I should give the tin foil hat a try…) I am not giving up on dating, but a hiatus wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing right now.