Guy 115 – Wolfgang – OCD German Guy

Nice enough guy, finishing up his PhD at an Ivy League school, so clearly intelligent.  Definitely one of the guys who sent pics of himself 20-30 lbs thinner, but that really isn’t uncommon, I’ve found.  He was only planning to be in the area for a few more months and then take a 2-3 YEAR break to travel around Asia once his degree was finished.  This blew my mind, essentially a 3 year vacation.  I got the impression that his family had money and he spent a lot of time traveling, most of it hiking/camping/backpacking type trips.  I found this out by his bookcases (plural) full of travel books, and shelves full of labeled plastic boxes filling his kitchen with travel supplies.  (He had these labeled boxes in his bathroom as well.)  It was one of the most OCD set ups I have ever seen – but to be fair, he said he could pack for a trip lasting several weeks in under an hour.  Anyway, we hung out once and it wasn’t anything amazing.

Parking in his neighborhood was a nightmare, and I am not good even with good parallel parking.  It also wasn’t the greatest neighborhood.  When I left, it was kind of late, and he didn’t even offer to walk me to my car, which I had to park several blocks away.  Then I didn’t hear from him for a week or so – not unexpected as he said he would be traveling for work, but suddenly he was back and constantly asking me to get together.  So overall, misleading pics, definite OCD issues, sketchy neighborhood with major parking problems (and he was allergic to dogs so never coming to my place), didn’t offer to walk me to my car at night, and overly aggressive about meeting again.  I don’t see this one happening.

Guy 116 – Anson – Super Young Guy

This is what happens when I get bored and depressed – I make bad decisions about guys.  Although it could be argued that I do that ALL the time.  Anyway, Anson was super young, even by my standards.  He was 24.  And yes, he knew how old I was.  I don’t get it, but some guys are into the older woman thing.  He was one of them.  He was extremely good looking and definitely spent a ton of time at the gym.  He said he’d like to meet again and I said OK, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea.  I highly doubt I will be seeing him again.

Guy 117 – Oliver – Serious Sub Guy

This one sounded like something different.  Oliver said he was an alpha male who spent all day being in control and wanted someone else to take over and let him be submissive.  Basically, he wanted someone to boss him around.  It seemed like a job I was born to do, right?  I’m a total control freak.  Well, kinda sorta maybe. Turns out he didn’t just want to be told what to do, he was totally looking for a Dominant/submissive kinky kind of thing where he wanted me to dress the part, tie him up, humiliate him, and actually flog him (I had no idea what a flogger even was). He said he’d provide his own flogger.  Oliver said he wanted to be a “human dildo”.  I figured why not?  It would be like Halloween.  I could dress up and pretend to be someone I’m not and maybe I’d find out it’s something that I actually enjoy.  So, I agreed.  Amazon, here I come.

#1 – Knee high black high heel boots – apparently these are a necessity.  They scream power to a submissive.  Of course, we are in sandal season, so boot selection right now is slim.  I tried local places like DSW and Famous Footwear – no luck.  I was stuck with Amazon.  And it turns out that I have expensive taste in boots.  I considered going the super cheap polyurethane route, but I just couldn’t do it.  I decided to get a decent pair that I might have a chance of actually wearing again in public with a dress or something, not just in a bedroom where I’m telling a guy to lick them.  Next problem – I decide I am willing to spend a lot on decent boots, but my feet are so small that I wear an odd size and can’t get them on Amazon prime or overnight shipping options.  They’ll take upwards of two weeks to get to my house, a full week and a half late for my sub to lick them.  So I ended up ordering a fairly expensive pair from a weird Chinese company whose box stated – Original Desigh – Flowers and the world a leaf pursue.  No, I didn’t misspell that, and no, I have no idea what the fuck it means, other than they don’t completely suck, and they aren’t great boots, but they’ll do, and they’ll be delivered in two days.

#2 – Black corset – I have a black bustier from a guy I was seeing who was into lingerie, but apparently this doesn’t count as a corset.  So, Amazon again.  You can spend hundreds of dollars on a corset if you want a good one.  You can even get them custom made.  My price range was $10-$20, so I’m looking at the cheap Chinese versions.  (No offense to anyone Chinese, but they do tend to have cheap clothing and shoe options online.)  If you read the reviews, however, they all explicitly warn that you need to order 2-3 sizes up because they run super small.  I end up ordering 3, figuring I will send back whatever doesn’t fit.  They arrive and I realize, I have no clue how to put on a corset.  It’s apparently much easier with 2 people, but I can’t exactly call my super Catholic neighbor and say, hey, I’m hooking up with a submissive guy, think you can come over and lace me into a sexy black corset?  I am on my own with this one.  The first one I try won’t stay hooked.  This really pisses me off because it took me ten minutes to figure out the fucking hooks.  Plus I realize it is falling off me, no matter how much I try to pull my boobs up to fill it and hold it up.  It finally dawns on me that the laces in the back need to be tightened, which means I need to take the whole thing off again.  I tighten them as much as possible and still don’t have the boobs to hold the damn thing up.  This one does not fit.  Apparently they don’t run as small as the reviews on Amazon claimed.  I try on the next one.  It turns out that #2 has a side zipper, not the impossible fucking front hooks the other one had.  This seemed great, until I zipped my boob in it.  That hurt like a motherfucker.  I finally got it zipped without any of my flesh in the actual zipper.  It fit pretty well.  I wouldn’t say it did a whole lot for my boobs like I thought a corset should, but it was a definite possibility.  I decided to try #3.  It was similar to #1, with the front hooks from hell, so I prepared myself for a fight.  I loosened the back lacing first so I’d have a little more play in front with the hooks.  A mere 20 minutes of what the fuck? Why am I doing this shit? later, I had the corset on.  It fit, and made my boobs look better than #2.  I wondered if I could just wear it for the next 36 hours.  Would anyone at work notice?  Sure, I would be sitting a little funny and my boobs would suddenly be up around my chin, but maybe that would slip past the largely male population?  OK, probably not, and I needed to shower at some point anyway, so the fucker needed to come off and I needed to repeat the corset fight another day.

#3 – leather panties – so not happening.  This sounds like an uncomfortable wedgie filled yeast infection in the making to me.  I told him no way.  I’d do lace panties, and I don’t do thongs or g strings.  I wear panties that actually cover my ass and fulfill their intended purpose.  I’m the dominant, sorry, Dominant, you’re the submissive, suck it up, buddy.  At one point he even suggested I could take them off and gag him with them.  Really?

#4 – black miniskirt – this seemed easy enough.  Randomly pick a black miniskirt off Amazon with 2 day shipping.  Not one so short that I bend over and my ass falls out, but above the knee, maybe mid thigh?  Should be a no brainer.  Ordered and done.

#5 – black opera gloves – I ignored this until the night before because I didn’t think it was important.  Turns out it is.  Sub guy said it is a huge turn on to be inspected/touched with the black opera gloves on.  I told him I could do nitrile gloves from work, but he didn’t seem to think that had the same appeal.  So where does one find black opera gloves in May?  The costume aisle of the party store.  Turns out the kids pair fit me perfectly.  While I was shopping in the party store, my sister face timed me.  She was shopping in Macy’s for a dress for my son’s graduation and wanted my opinion.  Then she asked where I was.  I told her I was shopping.  She asked where.  I told her it was a very long and strange story and she really didn’t want to know.  I paid for the gloves and told the kid at the register it was fine that there were no returns on costume items.  They wouldn’t want those gloves back when I was done with them.

#6 – find out how to act like a Dominant.  How hard could it be?  It’s not rocket science, right?  So I googled it. And then you get a bunch of half assed shit from Glamour and Cosmo that even I know aren’t what this guy is looking for.  Not even close.  But hey, I’m a scientist, research is totally my thing.  I just need to dig deeper.  Reddit turns out to be fairly helpful, kind of like the soft core porn version of Dominant/submissive stuff. Sub guy sent me a few stories he may or may not have liked (didn’t get a clear answer).  I can’t say I was super impressed with them or got any great ideas from them (a woman in one of them made a guy wear her underwear every day.  First of all, if my underwear fit a guy his size, I’d be really upset.  Second, that doesn’t turn me on at all.  And third, what a waste of my underwear.)  I told him I’d continue my own research.  That’s when I found Fetlife.  That site would be the hard core fetish site.  I quickly learned, don’t look at the pics or videos.  Stick with the newbie boards and suggestions.  That was about as far into Fetlife as I needed/wanted to go.  It seems you need to register to get in there.  My user name pretty much says it all, sonotme.  I felt like I got some background info on there, enough to give me an idea of what I had agreed to at least.  Whether or not I could actually follow through on it was another story.

By now I had been communicating with sub guy for close to a week.   We had agreed on a day to meet and he suggested a couple “fantasies” he wanted to try out.  They all work out pretty much the same, I tie him up naked, get him turned on, act mean and humiliate him, and intimidate him.  That part seemed weird to me, as I am the size of your average 12 year old and he was 6’2”.  He said it was all about him being tied up and unable to escape when I threaten to do awful things to him and flog him – and no, at this point, I still hadn’t even seen a flogger.  I probably could have looked it up on Fetlife, but was afraid of what I’d see.  Apparently the fear and pain turn sub guy on as much as the sexy clothes and touching, etc does.  I admitted that I was nervous and there were some things he suggested that I just was not willing to do.  I wasn’t going to stand over him in my bed in the crazy high heel boots.  I’m super clumsy.  I told him there was no way I was explaining to an ER doctor how my high heel ended up in his testicle and that it could have happened to anyone.  Nor was I walking on him in them.  He said OK, he’d suck my toes instead.  Um, seriously?  I generally don’t even like having my feet touched, but I figured it was a compromise and I agreed.

The agreed upon date rolled around.  We talked back and forth during the day and he offered me the chance to back out.  I thought about it, but I hate flaky people, and I had invested way too much time, effort and money into this now to back out.  I was following through.  I told him I might not be great at it, but I’d give it a shot.  He said the one thing he would ask is that I don’t break character in the middle and ask if he was OK or if I had done something correctly.  He said it made it really hard for him to get back into things if that happened.

I showered and started getting ready. Lace panties, stockings, then high heel boots, then skirt.  It turned out the miniskirt was knee length.  It sucks being short.  It was definitely a mini on the model in the pic on the fucking website.  Oh well, too late to do anything about that now.  Then it was a 20 minute fight with the corset in front of a fan because it was really hot.  If my neighbors on that side of the house were watching, you’re welcome for the free show.  I was finally ready.

Sub guy showed up.  He went up to my bedroom and stripped.  He said he would bring his flogger, blindfold, gag, and cuffs, just in case.  But I was supposed to come in and tie him to the bed with my scarves.  I read enough about this shit to know that if you tie that shit wrong, it can cause permanent nerve damage, so I very loosely tied his hands and feet.  Plus my bed is a hand me down from my sister, and if he really wanted to struggle, I don’t give a fuck if it wasn’t a turn on to not be bound tightly.  I’d rather the scarf knots gave than my bed.  He had drilled it into me that he really wanted to be afraid of me, and seriously wanted to feel threatened, so I brought a kitchen knife with me.  Honestly, I was more at risk from the knife than he was.  I was terrified I was going to trip and impale myself while carrying it up the steps and was incredibly relieved when I could put it down and just say, hey, I have a knife.  But you know what, that shit totally turned him on.  Between the knife and the ties and the gloves and the clothes, sub guy was hard as a rock.  And I found the flogger!  Not all that impressive.  I was expecting a whole lot more and was completely underwhelmed by it.  It was just a stick with a leather piece on the end.  So I figured I should flog him.  But I wasn’t sure how hard to hit.  I didn’t want to beat the shit out of the guy, but I also didn’t want to hit like a girl.  So I hit him a few times and told him he needed to do exactly what I said or there would be repercussions, and they would be pain.  And within like ten seconds, my scarf knots came undone.  He said I should use his cuffs.  There were two sets, and they had Velcro, and they stuck to the opera gloves, and next thing I knew my hands in the gloves were all tangled up in the cuffs.  I felt myself on the verge of giggling and losing it completely, so I told him he needed to be blindfolded and then hurled the gloves across the room and played around with the cuffs until I got them to more or less hold his hands.

Things pretty much went downhill from there.  I knew I wasn’t really intimidating, and I felt weird hitting him with the flogger – it left marks!  And then his hand slid out of his cuffs, and I was like, OK, Houdini, stay in the fucking cuffs or I’ll hit you more.  So I told him to suck my toes, which just made me feel like laughing, and he wasn’t hard anymore, and that was pretty much it.

Oddly enough, aside from all the weird sub shit, he seemed like an OK guy.  I’m pretty sure the weird sub shit ruled his life though, which is unfortunate.  He said maybe we should try again, that we were both nervous, but somehow I don’t see that happening.  I just don’t think I can take it seriously enough to be a Dominant for real.  My twisted sense of humor always gets me into trouble, and it did here yet again.  I found the whole thing funny, as opposed to a turn on.

So, I am a failed Dominant.  I really want to do an after action review and find out what parts I completely fucked up.  Not that I plan to do it again, I just like to know what went wrong.  It’s part of my perfectionist, anal retentive screwed up personality.  I now have some really slutty clothes that are perfect if I want to dress up like a slutty whatever next Halloween though – or really impress my next date/hookup.  And I will find a way to wear those expensive Chinese boots somewhere that a guy won’t expect to lick them or have me take them off so he can suck my toes.