Guy 93 – Charlie – Dive bar guy

Charlie was one of the much younger guys.  We agreed to meet at a bar, somewhere between my neighborhood and his.  This left us in a bit of a sketchy area.  Charlie randomly picked some bar he found online, said it had good reviews.

I arrived at the bar first, and knew there was no way I was going in there alone.  I texted Charlie to see how far he was and told him I was waiting for him to get there because it was a little scary.  He said we could go somewhere else, but I said it was OK as long as I wasn’t by myself.

Charlie arrived and immediately suggested we go someplace else.  I said we should check it out, how bad could it be?  We walked into a room with a long bar running down the left side and some small rooms off to the right.  The first room to the right contained a recliner with a guy either sleeping or passed out in it.  The next room contained a bunch of lawn furniture, white plastic table and chairs.  The last room had a pool table.  We definitely got some odd looks.  There was a Carole King song playing loudly in the bar.  Funny, they really didn’t look like a Carole King crowd.  Charlie and I walked over to the bar and stood there for a few minutes with the bartender ignoring us.  There weren’t that many patrons.  Charlie said, screw it, we’re going someplace else.

We went into another neighborhood and found a hipster kind of bar.  They actually took our order and no one stared at us.  At one point during the night, the same Carole King song from the dive bar started playing.  I guess you can escape some things, but Carole King isn’t one of them.

We left the bar and agreed things had gone well and we should meet again.  Then I spent 2 weeks with Charlie making and cancelling plans.  I finally got tired of it and said I was done.  Charlie answered me saying, I met this girl and I want to see how things go with her.  I’ll give you a call if things don’t work out with her. I told him I’d pass on being his back up.  Seriously, dude?  No thanks.  I have some dignity left, I think.  Although I did find a grocery list I made while drunk that listed dignity under cheese as a needed item.  Do you find that in the cheese aisle?

 

Guy 94 – Corey – Marine guy

Much younger guy.  Former marine, very cute, very built.  We met a few times, nothing special, and then we were done.

 

Guy 95 – Mason

Nothing special, can’t remember anything except he was a nurse.

 

Guy 96 – Petey – Know it all guy

I met Petey at a local bar.  He was another guy who had sent an old pic, I’d guess about five years.  He was a little older than me and had a daughter starting college next year.  He spent the first hour talking about himself.  His daughter, his ex, his mom who had died of cancer fairly young.  Then he moved on to what a scam drugs are, especially the ones taken for psychiatric conditions, like depression, bipolar, etc.  All those people needed was the power of positive thinking to heal themselves.  He had been to a seminar that made it clear for him.  He couldn’t believe how stupid those people were, taking drugs they didn’t need and giving all their money to the pharma companies.  I asked if he hadn’t ever seen anyone benefit from taking those medications, and he said, no, they’re all fake.  This is the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. I couldn’t take anymore.  I told him my mom had been bipolar and had taken those drugs for years.  I told him the power of positive thinking would not cure someone who was bipolar.  I suggested that maybe his mom should have used positive thinking and she would have cured her cancer.  Then I told him he was a know it all asshole who really knew nothing.  I threw $20 on the table and walked out.  I never heard from Petey again, which is probably a good thing for him.

 

Guy 97 – Riley – Bad breath guy

Nice guy, horrible teeth and bad breath.  I couldn’t do it. There was no way I could ever kiss that guy. It didn’t help that 007 texted in the middle of the date. He has impeccable timing.

 

Guy 98 – Luke – Depressed guy

Luke had recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10 years, with whom he was still living, with her new boyfriend staying over all the time.  He was a guy who was stuck in a bad situation and he clearly was not a happy guy.  I liked him a lot.  I felt like he was someone I could talk to and he’d actually understand.  Unfortunately, he moved to Colorado after we only met twice to address his living situation.  He’s a highly intelligent guy and I love his emails.  We still keep in touch, but probably not as often as we should.  I really hope things turn around and start looking up for him.  He deserves a break.

 

Guys 99, 100 and 101 – Jaden, Roberto and Richard

Nothing special.  Met them each once.  Nothing really there.

 

Guy 102 – Jordan – Tall FWB guy

I met Jordan at a local bar and we got along great.  So great that we made out at my car afterwards until a cop car passed for the third time.  He was 8 years younger than me, so not a drastic age gap there.  Jordan wanted to get married and have 6 kids.  I wanted someone to hang out with for the moment, so we decided on FWB.  We had fun, went to baseball games, mini golf, hung out at local bars and restaurants.  We made a deal where I baked him a cheesecake, and he had to replace the burnt out bulbs in my house.  He could reach them without a ladder.  Or a chair, or a stool.  He just reached up, and there was the fixture.  I had been climbing on a stack of textbooks on a chair, praying the whole time.

He did once take me to a baseball game with a lunch bag giveaway for kids 14 and under. I walked through the gate ahead of him and the guy standing there held out a lunch bag to me. I immediately turned around to see if a kid had walked in behind me. Nope, the only person behind me was 6’4″ Jordan. He laughed and told me to take it. I’m really small and was wearing a skirt, baseball t-shirt, baseball cap and chucks. I guess I looked like a kid and should feel flattered? My family thought the story was hysterical.

Anyway, things went well for a few months and then I noticed that I was only seeing Jordan during the week, and he was spending every weekend with a “friend” who lived a couple hours away. We weren’t dating, but we were sleeping together, and I didn’t want to sleep with Jordan and his “friend” and get whatever STDs people were trading back and forth.  We went out for what I knew was going to be our last night, and I drank too much.  On the ride home I lectured Jordan about the fact that he wasn’t getting any younger, and he needed to get started if he really wanted those six kids.  I’m pretty sure I was obnoxious, but to be fair, I was also irritated that I was the weekday hookup, and there was another weekend hookup.  I would have been happy if things had gone on longer with Jordan, but he truly did need to get started on that kid thing if he wanted to see them get through high school without a cane.  I hope things worked out for him.

 

Guy 103  – Alan – Not a friend guy

I met Alan to hang out as friends.  It was established upfront that we both had shitty luck with dating and were looking for an opposite sex friend to help understand why we were failures.  We met at a bar where Alan yelled his horrible break up story to me over a football game.  Mine couldn’t even compare.  Then we went outside and talked in the parking lot for an hour or so.  I thought things went well.  Then I got home and had an email from him saying he wouldn’t be just a friend to me because he was attracted and wanted to date me.  I can’t even get guys to be my friend anymore…