Guy 75- Jay

Nothing memorable.  He had pretty eyes.  That’s it.

Guy 76 – James – Scared Guy

James was another young guy.  We hung out for an hour or so and he seemed nervous and scared, like he couldn’t get away from me soon enough.  OK, whatever, there are other guys out there.  Then a few months later, I find a Missed Connection on CL that sounds like me.  I emailed back, and sure enough, it was James.  He said he wanted to try again, that he had been young and nervous.  I have to admit, I thought the missed connection thing was sweet, so I gave him another shot.  We met at a bar a few blocks from my house.  It was the first night all over again.  He seemed nervous and bored.  I tried, there’s just nothing there with this guy. He has contacted me again and said that was a long time ago and he thinks we should give it a third shot.  I don’t see that in the cards.  At least not right now.

Guy 78 – Ernie – Work Guy

OK, so, yeah… Work guy.  Yes, I know this was a mistake.  It was an alcohol induced beginning.  He had just started at the company I had been with for about 12 years.  He was younger (maybe 8 – 10 years) and suggested we hang out one night.  I didn’t know much about him since he was new, but he seemed like a nice guy and wasn’t bad looking.

We met at my house and walked over to my local bar.  A few drinks later, we walked back to my house.  Next thing I knew, I was in his lap and we were making out.  I still have no idea how that happened.  Aside from the alcohol, obviously.

Then we started hooking up.  It wasn’t an every night thing, just here and there, mostly when I had insomnia and was bored.  I know I should have stopped it immediately, but the guy had some impressive oral skills and I wasn’t getting laid anywhere else.  I figured it was relatively harmless, told him I didn’t want anyone at work to know and he agreed.  He was in my department, but in a different group, so I didn’t see him often.  Then disaster struck.

My company had a “reorg” in which my group was eliminated.  They kept most of us in the department, but we were merged into work guy’s group.  No big deal, I could handle that.  There were 6 teams in the group and no reason to assume I’d be in his.  I was merged into his team. Fuck.  I figured it would just be a little weird.  It was actually way weird and awkward.  I had to sit in team meetings next to a guy who had seen me naked and told me to “sit on his face” (not my thing, but definitely his).  No matter how hard I tried, it felt wrong.  Plus, I was getting outside pressure to end it – more on that later.  I decided the best thing to do was let it die a natural death.  It’s not like we were super into each other.  My big fear was pissing him off and having him spill to my coworkers.  I work with mostly guys, in a field highly dominated by men.  They would have a field day with this information and I’d never live it down.

I stopped texting him or suggesting we meet.  I think he got the hint and tailed off too on his end.  There was still an occasional grab at work, but I was trying to end that as well.  Again, I wanted everything to stay on good terms so he would keep his mouth shut.  He was still quite obviously more friendly to me than other coworkers, and I heard there were some rumors, but I never caught a whiff of anything concrete.  As far as I was concerned, it was mission accomplished.

I did almost blow it drunk texting him on my birthday about a year later (I was feeling old and not dating anyone).  There was some talk about why we didn’t get together anymore and how he thought that I didn’t want to meet.  Of course idiot me replied that I don’t do anything I don’t want to and was on the verge of inviting him over to my house that night.  That’s when a group of guys walked into the bar and one of them decided to spend the rest of the night hitting on me.  When you’re 41 and a 28 year old guy pays attention to you, it’s kinda flattering.  Anyway, I was suitably distracted for the rest of the night and never got back to drunk texting work guy.  He was over, and stayed over, thank God.

I really should have my phone taken away as soon as I start drinking.  It would be for my own good.  Instead, my friends and family watch as I implode my already fucked up social life once I pass three drinks.  Thanks, guys!

007 AGAIN

I know, I can’t believe it either.  In the middle of the work guy mess, 007 turned up again.  This time was totally him contacting me.  His new routine, in addition to the usual “you should fuck me” crap, was to ask if I had a boyfriend.  I explained that I didn’t really have a boyfriend, but I was in the middle of work guy situation.  007 got very pissy about this and pointed out what a bad move it was, as if I wasn’t already fully aware of the mess I made.  As mentioned above, I was working on ending all work guy activities.  There was the usual back and forth for the next few weeks, interspersed with shit about work guy.  This round he decided to grace me with his presence.  It was the traditional last minute let’s meet now thing and I was actually around.  I told him there was no way I’d have sex with him, and he agreed not to be a jerk about it.  He came over.  There was an awkward hour or so of conversation/arguing, and then he finally kissed me.  There were hands under clothes, but no sex.  Then he left, said he’d see me again and disappeared as usual.  At least he was consistent.

Guy 78 – Tony – Hypocrite Guy

Tony thought it was great that I made guys wear condoms when I had sex with them.  That meant that I was disease free and could fuck Tony without a condom.  I should just trust that he was clean, although he clearly hooked up with women without protection.  It just wasn’t the same for him with a condom.  He didn’t enjoy sex then.  Hypocrite wasn’t enjoying sex or anything else with me after that bullshit.  If I had a dollar for every guy that said sex was better without a condom, I would have a lot of dollars.  I was through with Tony.

Guy 79 – Ben

Pretty much forgettable.  He had big muscles.  That’s it.

Guy 80 – Jesse – Short guy

He was short, that’s all I found notable.  Sorry…