Guy 104 – Trevor – Super tall guy

Trevor and I were at different ends of the height spectrum.  He was too tall (6’8”) and I was too small (5’0” – not sure if I mentioned that before).  We met for dinner.  I considered wearing heels but figured that was like a drop of water in the ocean.  As we walked in together, the hostess did a double take and we definitely got some looks.  We got along OK and walked out to the parking lot after dinner.  We talked for a few minutes at my car.  He said he’d considered hugging or kissing me, but couldn’t figure out how it would work.  He thought he’d have to bend in half to reach me.  He was a nice guy and it was interesting to talk to someone dealing with the exact opposite for height issues.  The grass isn’t always greener, I guess.  We didn’t meet up again.

 

Guy 105 – Albert

Nothing special, only met once.

 

Guy 106 – Julius – Pinned by the balls guy

Julius seemed like a nice guy.  He made me laugh and we had fun together.  He told me a story about teaching his daughters self defense, and having them grab his balls.  One wouldn’t let go, and he had to pinch her arm to get out of it.  Then this adult daughter got in a car accident, and life stopped for everyone so he could take care of her.  She wasn’t seriously injured by the way, just hit her head and had some headaches.  Not even hospitalized.  He kept cancelling on me to take care of her, which was getting annoying.  We finally got together, and his daughter texted him that she was hungry, and he needed to come home and feed her.  I thought he was kidding, but no, he was serious.  She still had him by the balls.  Doesn’t work for me.  No more Julius (or his needy incompetent daughter).

 

Guy 107 – Johnny

Another muscle guy.  Never went anywhere.  I’m not really attracted to the overly built look.

 

Guy 108 – Melvin

Met once, nothing memorable.

 

007, YET AGAIN

This was classic 007.  I should fuck him.  We should meet.  Now.  Only now was Christmas eve and my nephew’s gift never came.  I had to go to Target and fight all the other desperate last minute shoppers.  He couldn’t wait. I didn’t see him, and he went MIA again.

 

Guy 109 – Jeff

I met Jeff for lunch at a restaurant near my work.  He lived an hour away from me and my work was somewhere in the middle.  I knew within five minutes of meeting him that it would never be something lasting for me.  I spent about 3 hours at lunch with him, about 2:45 of that listening to him talk about himself.  I put my feet up on the chair next to me and settled in for a long talk.  He was obviously a nice guy, who seemed to have very little idea where he was going with his life.  He hated his job, wasn’t happy with his house, had recently ended a long term relationship (5 years) directly following another long term relationship (1 year) and his marriage (12 years).  He kept stressing that he wasn’t looking for anything long term at the moment, although he seemed like a serial monogamist to me.  I got all this in the first hour, the next 2 hours just hammered all the points home more, I guess.

We walked out together and I was debating what to say if he wanted to go out again.  I knew I’d never plan a future with this guy.  But he was really nice and said he wasn’t looking for a relationship then anyway.  He asked to see me again, and I know I should have said no right there and then. I didn’t and sealed my fate for the next 9 months.

Jeff spent the first month or so telling me not to fall in love with him because I’d just get hurt.  I said OK, not a problem.  I should have worried when he stopped saying that, but I completely missed it.  Next thing I knew, I was seriously dating a guy who really liked me and expected to have his feelings reciprocated.  The longer it went on, the more trapped I felt and unable to end it.

He did have good points.  He was a good looking guy.  Not a guy my family saw me with, lots of tattoos, shaved head and gauges.  I’m pretty clean cut.  He was a super nice guy, the kind who would give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it.  He was a good dad to his 8 year old daughter. He fixed things around my house, and didn’t use loctite or duct tape. He was reliable and consistent, showed up where and when he said he would every time.  He squeezed the toothpaste from the bottom (I never do). And, he treated me incredibly well, which was totally new for me.

Of course, there were some drawbacks too, some more serious than others.  We had almost nothing in common.  Jeff would want to sit around watching TV and go out to dinner, and that was the date.  I love to read and planned dates like plays and baseball games.  He planned a couple dates, but it was usually on me to get us anywhere other than dinner.  Dinner was supposed to be followed by sex and bed.  He slept with me wrapped/trapped in his arms.  He said I should feel safe in his arms.  I felt smothered.  I was sleeping with an octopus who radiated heat. And he kept telling me how much he liked me, all the time.  Yes, this would be nice, if I felt the same way.  He was a bit of a racist, totally not OK with me.  He toned that way down and didn’t say anything when I argued with 2 groups of his racist friends (first and last time I met any of them).  I thought he had a drinking problem.  He said it was one of the reasons his wife left him, but it wasn’t a problem anymore.  Whether we were out or at home, he would start drinking with dinner.  Most times it continued until bed time, and was usually 3 – 4 drinks, minimum, every night.  We could go to a bar, and he’d grab a beer the second we got back to his house.  I noticed he could be nasty or mean when he was drunk, saying things that I knew he wouldn’t say sober.  He gave my son a lecture while drunk one night about helping around the house and not being lazy.  He was right, but totally out of line to yell at my kid.  I told him I didn’t want him to do that again, and he did call my son and apologize.  He even passed out on me one night in bed, literally 180 lbs that I had to push off me.  He was also a know it all.  Anything you had done, he had done it better.  There was one time where my son blew registering for a summer course he needed for college.  I was extremely upset, as this could delay his graduation and degree.  He spent the next half hour telling me how he was responsible for getting his brother through restaurant/management school.  The brother couldn’t have done it without him.  Not really what I wanted to hear at the time.  And then he couldn’t understand when I wouldn’t talk about my feelings with him.  My sister hated him for the know it all crap.  I just ignored it.

He made a lot less than me. I’m talking like 1/3 -1/4 of what I earn.  At first he said a guy should make more and support the woman.  Then he said it didn’t bother him that I made more.  I knew that wasn’t true and he resented me for spending money on things he thought were unnecessary and wasteful.  There were comments and looks here and there.  I work in a good field and earn every penny I make.  I am a very hard worker.  I didn’t feel it was his place to begrudge me whatever I wanted to spend my money on, just because he was in a dead end job and made less than me.

I knew I was in serious trouble when he started saying “I love you” when he thought I was sleeping.  I’m an insomniac.  I sleep like crap and every noise wakes me up, including him telling me he loved me.  He he had to know I heard that.  It felt passive aggressive to me.

Jeff didn’t get my sense of humor.  This is important for me.  A favorite insult in my family is, you’re not funny and you’re not attractive.  The bigger insult in my family is the not funny part.  I would crack up at something and he would look at me like I was crazy.  Which maybe I am, just a little. But I’m still funny.  We were sitting at an outdoor café not long after we started dating.  He suddenly said, you’re going to want to trade seats with me in a couple minutes.  I asked, why? Is there a cute guy sitting behind me? This was honestly my first thought and immediate response.  He said no, the sun is moving and will be in your eyes in a few minutes.  I have sunglasses, you don’t.  OK, yeah, I felt like a bit of a jerk, but I still thought this was funny.  The guys at work were shocked he didn’t dump me there and then.  Another time we were in bed after sex and he said, I’m really attached to you.  I said nah, you’re just sticky.  Take a shower and you’ll be fine.  Could I have responded better?  Yeah, probably, but that was my instant response.  He said I had an uncanny ability to ruin a nice moment.

Anyway, things went on like this for 6 – 7 months.  I couldn’t see a way out without hurting him.  That’s when Jeff started saying he wanted me to talk about my feelings with him.  Seriously, did he not know me by then?  I don’t do feeling discussions.  I think anything I feel should be contained and managed by me.  There’s no reason to drag anyone else into that stuff.  It became a weekly discussion and I wanted to curl into a ball and roll away every time he started.  He swore that he was going to break through my “wall” and I’d be a completely different person who talked about my feelings.  This was the rut we were in when things came to a head.

Jeff’s brother was coming in from the other side of the country.  He hadn’t been home in two years.  There were family events scheduled from Thursday night through Sunday afternoon.  At this point, he had met my dad and the only 2 siblings I had who had been around while I was dating him.  I had met his mom for about 30 seconds.  I thought he would want me to come to something over the weekend to meet his family since we had been dating for 9 months and he had met mine.  He even came to father’s day dinner with my family and spent a weekend with me at my sister’s.  He said I should come over his house on Sunday night, after everyone had left.  I thought this was a shitty move and told him so.  He said he didn’t want me to meet his family because he wasn’t sure about my feelings for him since I never discussed them.  Really? We’re back to the feelings thing AGAIN?  I told him I wasn’t some caterpillar who was going to change into some butterfly person who talked about their feelings.  What you see is what you get, and if the caterpillar isn’t good enough for you, you should be dating someone else.  Jeff said OK, we were done.  End of story.

 

Guy 110 – Ralph – Driver guy

We hung out once and he made brownies with me for my sister.  Nice enough guy, but he seemed to want more, and kept texting me all the time.  I just ended a relationship where the guy was constantly up my ass.  It wasn’t what I needed at the time.

 

Guy 111 – Donald – Kid guy

Guy my age, kids, drama, as per usual.  No thanks.

 

Guy 112 – Burton

Met once, nothing there really.

 

Guy 113 – Miles

Nice guy.  We met once and he suggested I write a book with all my dating stories.  So here I am.

 

007, AGAIN

He turned up again after I had been seeing Jeff for a month or so.  His usual routine, I should fuck him, do I have a bf, etc.  I told him I was seeing someone but it wasn’t serious.  I asked if he wanted to give me a reason to break up with him.  He got nasty about me seeing someone, although he never bothered to see me himself.  He reminded me of my female dog.  She guards the food so the male can’t eat.  She doesn’t want the food, but she doesn’t want him to have it either.  I have to take his bowl of food and put it in another room.   After a few days of our usual texts, he told me he had a serious health issue and needed surgery.  I asked if I could keep in touch with him and make sure he was OK.  He got horribly mean, said I had a boyfriend and should just leave him alone forever.  I didn’t really like this option, but there wasn’t an alternative.  I agreed to leave him alone, but told him it went both ways and he needed to leave me alone too.  Then he disappeared and I didn’t hear from him again, until…

He turned up again. He’s like fucking Chucky, you think he’s gone and he turns back up and messes up your life.  He started texting me out of the blue four months after he told me to leave him alone forever.  I had stuck to the deal and left him alone.  I asked if he was OK, and he said, yes, he was fine.  I asked why he had contacted me after telling me to leave him alone four months ago.  He said, I masturbate to you often and thought I’d reach out.  That had me laughing in Walmart and trying to explain it to my son, with whom I was shopping for work pants.  There was some texting back and forth, and then he said he would come over my house the next day and hang out.  I told him I had plans, he said cancel them, I said no, I’m not flaky, pick another day.  He said he had tried and went MIA again.  Until…

He turned up again.  I was through with Jeff at this point, but wasn’t telling 007 anything about my personal life since he had been such a jerk about it previously.  He did his usual, you should fuck me, I said I wasn’t interested in being his fuck buddy.  He said, he didn’t say that.  He was just saying you have to try it out first.  I told him I wasn’t a free sample at the grocery store, and he suggested a trial basis, not a free sample.  I told him have a nice day, I’d talk to him again in a few months.  He made a few mean texts after that, and I realized that I wasn’t interested anymore.  I was tired of him being a dick to me and making me feel like shit, and there was absolutely no reason to talk to the guy and ever believe that he would be something or someone different.   It would be like Jeff waiting for me to turn into the butterfly who talked about her feelings.  I don’t want to be with him the way he is now.  I should have done it years ago, but I finally blocked him on text and email.  It’s been several months, and I haven’t heard from him, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

So, I’m currently single and debating what to do in terms of dating again.  I haven’t figured it out yet, and probably won’t anytime soon.  But if I do, I will keep this updated.  Assuming anyone reads it…