Guy 40 – Bradley – Missionary guy

Bradley was another younger guy.  We talked through email and he seemed like a really nice guy.  I agreed to dinner with him.  He picked me up, we went to a place where he had made reservations and had a nice dinner.  This guy had his shit together.  Jason could learn a lot here.  After dinner we went out to a bar area in the restaurant and watched the end of the baseball game.  We left and he drove me home. Then he spent 3 hours talking to me about his plans for life, what he had done so far, how he could help others (he was one of those religious missionary save the world guys.  I should have known it was doomed.)  He left, I went to bed and woke up the next morning to an email from Bradley saying he thought I was a nice person, but he felt like it was just a friend thing for him.  (Am I the only one with Biz Markie playing in my head right now? Did I just totally date myself?) Whatever, fine Bradley, but did I really have to sit through 3 hours of your life plan to be your friend?  Somehow I didn’t see us having more deep missionary conversations as best buds.  Bradley was done.

You, you got what I need, but you say he’s just a friend, and you say he’s just a friend.  Sorry, I got distracted there.  But really though, Biz Markie.  It’s a classic.  Back to the story.

Guy 41 – Preston –  Doctor guy

I agreed to meet Dr. Preston at a bar – actually unemployed former Dr. Preston, which should have given me a hint there were issues there.  We seemed to get along (OK, I may have some issues too), went back to his place where he put on some awful movie, said we should have sex and asked if I wanted some Adderall as he popped a couple himself.  I passed.  No more Dr. Preston.

Guy 42 – Baker

Big guy, nothing all that memorable besides being dwarfed by him.

Guy 43 – Jake – Kid freak out guy

Jake was a younger guy.  I was depressed by the recent slew of dating failures, and I agreed to hook up with Jake.  He was cute, I knew neither one of us expected anything more than sex out of it, so why not?  In the middle of having sex, Jake decided to spank me.  What the fuck?  That’s one you establish up front.  I am not OK with anyone spanking me.  I am not some disobedient child.  We were debating starting again when Jake made a comment about my son, maybe something about a baby sitter.  I told him no, my son was 21 and didn’t need a sitter anymore.  Jake completely freaked out.  He knew how old I was, knew I had a kid, but the fact that the kid was the same age as his brother made the whole thing weird for Jake somehow.

I sat and talked to him for a bit and he mentioned he had just broken up with his girlfriend.  Oh yeah, who was married.  So banging married women is OK, but women with adult children are off limits?  Sure, bye Jake.

Guy 44 – Brad – Air force guy

Brad had recently moved to the area with the air force.  We met for lunch. He was a nice guy, but I knew I wasn’t interested.  I turned down another date with him and he got the message.

Guy 45 – Kendall – Tattoo guy

Kendall was in town for a week or so for work.  He had lots of tattoos, which surprised me for a business guy.  Hence, tattoo guy. There wasn’t anything else about him to earn a nickname.  Anyway, we met up, he spent a ridiculous amount of time telling me how much he loved his kids.  Their mom wasn’t competent to care for them, so he got full custody.  But oh yeah, Kendall traveled nonstop for work so his father was actually raising the kids.  See – older guy, baggage.  Bye Kendall.

Guy 46 – Ryan – DUI guy

Ryan was completely upfront about having lost his license due to a DUI.  He didn’t try to bullshit me about it, and seemed sincerely sorry it had happened.  He offered to take the train to meet me in my neighborhood.  I said OK, and we walked to a local bar and watched the baseball game.  Nothing special, but nothing awful either.

A few days later Ryan called and asked if I wanted to go to some trivia thing with a group of his friends.  I figured why not, I didn’t have anything better going on that night.  Only problem being, Ryan didn’t tell me the name of the place or where it was.  I tried both calling and texting, and it said my calls wouldn’t go through.  This is weird.  The guy asks me to go somewhere, but never follows up to tell me where? Then some strange girl called me and said Ryan had lost his phone, he was using another phone, and asked me to call him on that phone.  OK, last shot here buddy.  Wrong number.  Screw it, I was done.  It turns out the girl had transposed 2 numbers when telling it to me.  Genuine mistake, I get it.  But it was just a huge comedy of errors for a guy I really wasn’t all that interested in seeing again anyway. He called me a few more times, but that was it for me.

Guy 47 – Tom – High school truck guy

Tom lived close by, said we should hang out.  We met up and hung out in his truck, making out like teenagers.  Nothing more than that.  Done.  Went home, never saw or talked to him again.

Guy 48 – Tim – Took a shot guy

So there is a theme here, where guys think they are going to say something so amazing that a woman’s clothes will just fly off and they get laid.  You can tell a guy countless times that there is no way you are having sex with him, but he thinks just maybe, he can convince you otherwise.  Tim was one of those guys.  We hung out, he tried to convince me to have sex with him, I said no.  He said he took a shot, he felt like he had to try.  We went our separate ways and never met up again.